Never in a million years
by katel1111
Summary: Set after 'kiss kiss bang bang' Ianto is being distant and Jack wants to know why


Jack's POV:

He had been avoiding him all week, ever since Jack had come back everyone had seemed to welcome him back, everyone except for Ianto. There were the business formals that had to be addressed in order to be a working team, but it was always so cold and stiff. Definitely not the same as before he left.

Jack had a plan though; when Ianto came for his next coffee round then Jack would make him talk. He would force the words out of him; Jack needed to know what he did wrong.

He didn't have to wait long, almost as soon as he was finished with his thought there was a knock on the door to his office. He smiled to himself and called the visitor in. The door slowly opened and Ianto came through with a cup of coffee. Ianto set it on the coaster situated on Jack's desk and turned promptly and walked toward the door. "Wait." Jack called.

Ianto stopped in his tracks and sighed a little before turning around and looking Jack in the eyes, but they weren't Ianto's eyes, these eyes were colorless and dead. Ianto's eyes were bright and blue; they were one of the things Jack loved about Ianto. "Is there something else you needed, Sir?"

"Actually, yes, there is something you can do for me. Have a seat."

"I don't think that I can't complete that request, I am backed up on archiving as it is."

"I wasn't asking."

"And I don't care." Jack was shocked as Ianto, as emotionless as if he had seen a fly on the wall, walked toward the door once again.

"Ianto please, talk to me." Jack pleaded but Ianto ignored him and opened the door. "Ianto!" Jack stood up from his chair and closed the door, trapping Ianto in the office. Ianto did nothing, didn't fight, didn't even look at Jack asking to leave, he just stood there calmly and stared through the glass of the door at the other members below. "Please. Why?" Jack desperately searched for any indication that his words hadn't gone in one ear and out the other. Ianto's eyes shifted to Jack's then back to the door, he sighed and walked to the chair on the other side of the desk. Stiff, rigid, Ianto sat there like he would rather be anywhere else in the universe than right there.

Slightly pleased that he was getting somewhere, Jack sat down in his chair and propped his feet up on the desk. Ianto looked at his trousers as if they were the most interesting things in the world. "How have you been, Ianto?"

Ianto smiled his 'I'm tolerating you but I really would rather there be a knife in your back' smile and looked up at Jack with the same dead eyes, "Just dandy, Sir. A little stressed with the amount of archiving you are keeping me from, but just dandy."

Jack nodded and took his feet off of the table, instead leaning forward and resting his chin on his hands, "Really? Who still uses the word dandy?"

"Things change in a year." Ianto shrugged.

"True, very true." Jack nodded and agreed.

After a few moments of awkward silence Ianto stood again, "If that is all then I shall be going."

"Wait," Jack said again, "How are we?"

"I don't understand what you mean, Sir."

Jack stood up and approached Ianto, "I think you know exactly what I mean."

Ianto looked away, "You're wrong, I don't know what you mean."

"You and me, me and you. Us, the stopwatch. When I died and came back to life when no one thought I would, that kiss meant there was an us."

"Your right, it did. But like I mentioned before, lots of things change in a year." Jack stepped back as if he had been slapped.

"A-are you seeing someone else? Have you seen any others after me?"

"No, who would want some m- never mind, the answer is no."

Feeling slightly better, Jack continued, "Then do you think we can pick up where we left off?"

Ianto laughed humorlessly, "Do you really think that after a whole year, I would just fall into your bed and everything would be alright?"

Jack thought about it for a moment, "Yes? No… no I didn't."

Ianto scoffed and shook his head, "Unbelievable, you actually thought that I was that desperate."

Jack shook his head quickly, "Of course not, I would never think of you like that. Ianto, I-I love you."

Ianto looked at Jack so coldly, he thought he might freeze. Ianto looked away quickly, but not before Jack saw the tears brimming, "Yeah? Well, you probably should have thought of that before you left." With that, Ianto turned, his fancy shoes squeaking on the floor, and walked out of the room.

Ianto's POV:

It had been hard when Jack had left, Ianto was a mess, became quite the drinker, even worse than Owen. He lied to Jack too; there were a few other men and some women who were in his bed on some of the worse nights. But they never meant anything, they were only to keep his mind off of the fact that the love of his life, left for someone else. Yes, Ianto does love Jack, but he can't tell him, can't admit to Jack that everything will be ok because Ianto doesn't know that it will be. Ianto was crushed into dust, and glue can't make dust whole, only the black whole of a vacuum can make it disappear, like it was never there. The team tried to help, understood what Jack meant to Ianto. Gwen and Tosh were amazing, they coddled him, maybe a little too much but they were just trying to get him back on his feet. Owen supplied the drinks, something that helped way more than any coddling. For a night, Ianto could just let go of everything, of course the fun came with a price, but it was worth it.

It seemed tonight was going to be one of those nights, as Ianto fled from Jack's office, tears sliding down his face and him trying furiously to wipe them away, the team looked up at him and Owen grabbed his coat. Tosh and Gwen looked disapprovingly at them, "What if there is rift activity?" Gwen asked as both men made their way to the now open cog door.

"I think the three of you can handle it." Owen replied as they disappeared and the door shut. The girls heard the door to Jack's office open and they looked up and saw his looking down at them, his eyes red and his lip quivering. The two of them sighed and went back to their work, not sure what to do to help him.

At the club, Ianto walked to the bar and ordered four shots and two glasses of scotch, "Going hard core tonight, Tea Boy?" Ianto glared at Owen and Owen held up his hands in surrender and grabbed one of the shot glasses now sitting on the bar top. They both drank until they couldn't see straight and ended up in one on the dance floor of the club. Ianto was grinding up against Owen and felt the hard on coming from Owen's tight jeans.

Ianto leaned his head back so it was lying on Owen's shoulder and said to him, "Enjoying this?" All he got in response was a moan from Owen. Ianto smiled a little to himself and lifted his head, grinding harder into Owen's growing erection, getting a louder moan. Ianto turned himself so that his hard on was rubbing against Owen's. Quickly a pair of lips was latched onto his and Ianto found himself kissing back. Whether it was the alcohol or something else, Ianto found himself enjoying himself when he found Owen and himself in a private booth, full on snogging. He heard a gasp from behind him but decided to ignore it. Or he was going to except he was roughly pulled away and outside. Ianto stumbled around for a moment but quickly recognized his surroundings and a royally pissed Jack standing in front of him.

"What the hell was that?" Jack yelled at Ianto.

"It was nothing."

"You practically swallowing Owen's face is nothing?"

Ianto nodded, "Sure is."

Ianto heard some grumbling and a hand on his shoulder, "Come on. I'm taking you home."

Ianto shook the hand off of his shoulder, "I don't need your help. I didn't a year ago and I don't now."

"I am taking you home."

"No you aren't. I don't want you to. You come back here and act as if I am your property. Well I'm not. I am a living, breathing, broken, human being who wanted to get wasted to forget everything and apparently in some drunken state I decided that Owen was what I wanted, but he isn't."

"Who is?"

"No one, I want no one."

"Do you really not love me?"

"I do love you. But you left for your precious Doctor. I was left behind like some dog when its owner leaves for work, waiting by the door all day, and waiting. But the owner didn't come home this time so the dog had to learn how to fend for its self; it was heartbroken and lucky that there were friends there to help pick up the pieces. Then this said owner decides to come back, just walk through the door as if he had never been gone. Now the dog has to rebuild his routine again, leaving the owner out as much as possible so it doesn't hurt as much when the owner leaves again, when the owner finds someone better."

Ianto was surprised at himself and turned away and in the direction of his house, ready to turn in for the night. He heard a strangled, barely contained, sob come from behind him. He turned and saw Jack on his knees, looking after Ianto. "I am so sorry. I had no idea. I thought about you all the time, always was wondering what you were doing, how you were, the reunion we would have when I came back, they were the only sane thoughts. I never stopped to think about how me leaving would make you feel and for that I am so, so sorry."

Ianto sighed and walked back to Jack, kneeling down on the ground next to him and gently kissed him on the lips, "I'm not saying its ok, because it certainly isn't, but I guess I can forgive you. As long as you promise to give me a little heads up before you leave for such a long time again."

Jack smiled widely and nodded aggressively, "I will make it up to you I promise." And he did. After that night, Jack spend almost all of his waking moments trying to make Ianto his forever. It took a while, it was ten times as hard to get Ianto to loosed up again around him, but it was also ten times more worth it, for when Jack thought Ianto was nice and loose,

He bought a ring, got down on one knee, and proposed.

Ianto said 'never in a million years…'

Would I not want to be forever yours.


End file.
